I haven’t talked of anything of note for a while. Since last August, I have checked out of life.
Yes. I graduated. I ran my first half marathon. I have nothing else really to show for the last year. Most of my days have been spent coming home and watching Netflix from my bed while doing tasks like working and eating. It is bad.
I don’t know how this really happened. I think I just gave up. My life has lacked meaning completely. It is really sad to say that my life has lacked meaning. I’m frustrated. I will not soak in shoulda woulda coulda. That is what got me here in the first place.
I have packed on the fat. I won’t say pounds. I have packed on the pounds, but when people find out that I weigh 160, they tend to not count it as a dire situation. I live in the Midwest. What can I say? People tolerate weight way more around here. Regardless, I don’t like the way I look and feel. I am not happy with my body.
Well, I wasn’t happy with my life. I decided to change things.
I tried to get the hell out of the Midwest. And I tried to coerce my boyfriend to marry me/broke up with him and cried for months. Neither of those two things really worked out for me. So, what did I do? I got back together with my boyfriend. He is a wonderful man that loves me. He makes me a better person. I have faith that we will grow together and the marriage thing will work its self out. Then after that, I bought a house in this little town. I have been renting my entire adult life. It was time to take control. So, I found a realtor and started the whole process. I close in August.
Then I decided to do the MELTDOWN.
Now, it seems like I have done nothing but had meltdowns. This is a little different. Next Generation is a gym in my town. I have called it the “cult gym” for years. Everyone that goes there is obsessed with it….Because it works. It works because of the meltdown program. It is 8 weeks long. 8 weeks of detailed eating and fitness WITH ACCOUNTABILITY. That is the element that made me decide that this is the change I need to make. I need that jump start.
Days before my 32nd birthday, I am starting the meltdown. For 8 weeks I will be on this plan. It is only 8 weeks. So much good can happen in 8 weeks. I cannot wait to start!