760 Days

I have loved you with my inner most being for 760 days. I have adored you for 1,491 days. I have known you and liked you for 2,219 days. Of my 11,842 days, you have been a part of some of the happiest days. Perhaps, that would mean little to me if I had an additional 5,500 days. Fuck you. I love you so much.

You are my everything and yet nothing. My heart holds hope, but expects nothing. I am blessed, but cheated.

*I found this in my drafts and wanted to share it. What a ride.

Bridges

I stumbled upon Bridges of Madison County late in life. Well, if you call 28 late in life.

I remember watching it and being so struck by the way someone can profoundly change you. I felt so drawn in by Francesca. Her commitment was undaunted by a man that so desperately wanted to share the side of himself he kept hidden.

So often, I find movie story lines frilly and unrealistic. Everything in this movie seemed gritty and lovely. I could almost feel the drops of water falling from the shower or taste the lemonade that was sipped from the sweaty glass. I watched as Francesca’s wisps of hair around the nape of her neck clung to her summer skin. When Robert stiffly danced with her in the kitchen, visibly she melted into him and he softened.

It seemed that both Robert and Francesca kept themselves from fully allowing love in. Yet, were willing to do so with each other. Sometimes, I think about my life with Mister Man and how well we compliment each other. I feel that we are a great team and it is relatively easy. I can’t help but compare him to Robert’s character. A bachelor, set in his ways, ever keeping a part of himself safe from harm.

Would he stand in the rain for me waiting for me to join him, all the while knowing I will not? How many people put themselves out there like that for love? Would I? We want this fairytale love, yet we play it safe. What keeps us back?

I think about the moments in life that still move me. They were moments of abandon…Moments of deep emotion. How does one keep themselves open to those moments?

These are just some of the thoughts swirling in my head tonight. I’ll leave you with a little treat. What are your thoughts on the subject?

Perma Vacation

Mister Man and I got back from Punta Cana last weekend. It was a wonderful trip. I think we learned a lot about each other while spending time with his best friend and his wife. JD ended up taking all of the pictures. This is the only one I got is this one:photoThere are things I love and hate about vacation. About 3/4 of the way through we made a list of all of the things we wanted to continue in real life.

  • Walking everywhere: On a sprawling resort, one can take many steps in a day. We got in our 5 miles a day going to the workout building, breakfast, lunch, dinner, up the beach, down the beach and everywhere in between. I have decided to spend more time walking instead of driving.
  • Television: We didn’t turn on the tv once. It was nice to get our entertainment from late night shows, dinner with friends or reading.
  • Fresh fruit in every meal: On an island, tropical fruit is everywhere and we ate a lot of it.
  • Getting to know strangers: JD and I do this anyways, but it is a nice thing to continue.

And then there were the things that we realized we did miss about our real life:

  • My cooking: I love to cook. I also get very sick from not eating well.
  • Speaking just one language: The spanish thing was fun, but by the end of the trip, I was speaking spanglish and I wanted to just think in one language.
  • No alcohol: I drank so many pina coladas, mud slides, screwdrivers….I just wanted some good ole fashioned water.
  • Space: Mister Man is so wonderful, but spending 7 days in a tiny room with another human being becomes a tight squeeze. That being said, since we have returned, I miss him so much.

What things do you love and hate about vacation?

 

The End of May

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Cannot believe May is drawing to a close. The last week has been filled with my new job, a photo shoot, family visits, workouts, exploring campus and cooking yummy treats.

40 Days and 40 Nights

40 days until vacation.

I really cannot believe it. I am so excited to have the time to just relax.

In fact, I have tried to begin that relaxation bit already. With my new job beginning today, I am trying to take a new approach to work. Work hard, do my best, stay organized and strive to exceed expectations. But above all: CHILL! I am naturally high strung, so I am beginning this process the right way in order to keep sane. I know this new job can be stressful. I just want to stay as calm as possible.

My Happiness Project is going well. I’ll have an update soon.

Hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Here I am with my mother and sister last summer on Mt. Rainier. What an awesome day!

 

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Derby Days

Today, JD and I are headed to Churchill Downs. This will be my first horse racing experience.
I’m expecting everything and nothing. I’ve heard some insane stories, but Friday should be calmer. When I told one of my superiors at work that I would be in the general admission area, she seemed worried. I can’t wait to post crazy pictures.

The happiness project is going well. I didn’t get in all of my workouts, but my eating is improved as well as my sleep.

Last night we saw Iron Man 3. Robert was amazing as usual! 🙂

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